Wretched beast.

I know I have a blessed life, I can not deny that. Yet, once in a while I succumb to a debilitating depression that I can’t escape. I feel wretched, alone, and void of all tender emotion at times, giving two shits what anyone thinks.

But I enjoy the pain sometimes just because I know I still feel something. I’m still losing my soul. Therefore I still have a soul to lose. I’m not a complete monster just yet. I’ve made awful mistakes in my past, sins that I will never atone. I’ve given up on finding my saving grace. My purity in this wicked existence. I am one of the monsters, I wear a mask to hide my true self. I’m a coward, a fiend, yet I yearn for salvation.

I have only myself to blame.

“lighting new cigarettes, pouring more drinks. It has been a beautiful fight. Still is.”

– Charles Bukowski

James Blackshaw – Fix

Add me on:
Twitter🐓
Instagram📷
YouTube📺